Friday, July 29, 2011

Sleeping with you!

For anyone that has had children that dont sleep, you know in the end you sacrifice something to ensure that life is easier. Whether its late nights, or morning sleepins, staying in bed all night or just having the bed to give up something. After three kids like this Hubby and I have given up a lot. I have had times where I went to bed as soon as my kids fell asleep so that I could get as much sleep as I could in a night. Other times I was up by 4am as by the time I resettled the little one there wasnt really much point going back to bed. At times I didnt have enough fingers and toes to count how many times I dragged my exhausted body out of bed to tend to a child. At the moment though we are co-sleeping. This post isnt about co-sleeping however...its an issue that parents usually feel strongly either way lets leave it be for now.

This post is actually about how it changes your whole night. Not just the "quality" yummy hubby shut the door time...but the whole night.
Some nights my hubby is just the feet at the bottom of the bed that I can feel with my feet... he is the hand that slips up and around the pillow to hold mine. Some nights I remember that really important thing I forgot to tell him after work...only to realise that I cant say it now for fear that it will wake up the little one.

Co-sleeping can ruin chats, cuddles, quiet times, sleep ins and late nights. Some days you think you will never have your bed back... but we know we will... so we keep hoping it will come. But for now as much as we lose we do gain so much more.

Its a great reminder at the end of a long day why we had children. When we roll over to see our little one open her eyes and shoot us a smile. Or to wake up with her holding our hands, or patting our heads. Its so cute to see her wake up each morning and say Hello Mummy - Hello Daddy. But most of all its great to sleep.

After over 12 months of only 3 hours of sleep a night I gave in and let her sleep with me, instantly I started to have nights where I was getting 5 hours of sleep and within a couple of months I had longer nights sleep. I might have had to give up some space...some nights most of my side of the bed... but at the end of the day (or night) I atleast get some sleep.

...and for as long as it takes to get my bed back I will just have to cope knowing that Hubby is the warm feet at the end of the bed and the hand above my pillow...

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Reclaiming my Body

When I was a child... I hated my body...when I was a teenager I did to..... ok lets face it...right up til I had my third child I wasnt a fan of what I had been graced with.

But thats changed... I cant say I "love" my body... and if there was a magic wand and I could change anything about myself..the list would be long. I would grow my boobs, reduce my thighs, sculp my nose and jaw line, flatten my get the idea. ;)

But these days... My body seems normal and therefore I can be happy with it. When I was a child and a teenager I was plauged with hips and thighs and fat ankles.... no matter what I did, or didnt do they were always there... Its a strange kind of body to have when you are young, one that comes with hips. I know where they came from, I have a whole family of hips so its not surprising that I had them. the fact I got hips before I was a teenager was annoying though. Hips were for babies and until I had them I didnt want hips. :)

I had them and I had to deal with them. So as a younger person I didnt wear dresses... one of the only dresses I wore the whole time I was a teenager was the one to my graduation...and even then when I happen to come apon a photo of it in my mass amounts of junk the first thing I see as my hips. I was strictly a jeans and pants kind of gal. I didnt want my thighs and ankles exposed either.... how embarrassing.

As I got older and the couple of years leading up to having my third child I started to get used to my body... I had lost a bit of baby weight and started to realise that the body was staying no matter what I did and if I wanted to hate it I could but that was getting me no where...

After having baby number three there was the residual left overs... expecially after yet another c-section.. and some of its still there now. I still have my jiggly bits, some stretch marks, some lumps and bumps where I wish there were none... but I decided that I didnt care.... Yes I still have days when I wish I was thinner, taller, prettier... but thats just life isnt it? But this feeling doesnt last. I learnt to dress better for my shape, and when I buy something I buy it because I love it. Not because I can hide my ankles in it or deisguise my hips or thighs. Some purchases I am sure are laughed at by everyone that sees me. Like todays ensemble of jeggings (yes I know nearly 30 and jeggings probably dont work but who cares) and a funky baggy top with a belt hitched up under my boobs. From a distance you might mistake me for someone younger (trust me up close you cant LOL) but even though its probably a completely laughable outfit for a lady my age.... I love it and thats all that matters. You have to live your life for yourself, just like you should dress for yourself.

....and remember that the attitude usually makes the outfit... if you have the confidence to wear something then it looks great... if you worry about what you look like it shows.... so remember wear what you love, wear it with pride because if you treat your body right it will treat you right back.

(and a thought I like to remind my friends of when the talk happens to get onto weight is:
"You are only half as fat as you think you are, everyone else thinks you are half as fat as you really in the end when you strip away everyones thoughts you are only a quarter of the size that you think you are"
keep that in mind next time you pull on something in front of the mirror)