Monday, June 6, 2011

I am a Perfect Mother ....are you?

A Perfect Mother growls when her children are naughty.
She takes away privilages when jobs arent done.
She piles broccoli, beans, zucchini, spinach and any other green vegetable up high on their plate.
She makes them read instead of watching TV.
Makes them brush their teeth twice, incase they didnt do it the first time.
She doesnt accept any rubbish and lets them know it too.
"No" isnt an answer that she understands, unless its followed by " dont have to tell me twice Mum"
She grumbles about how much washing there is so that the children are thankful she has actually done theirs.
She answers the "I'm hungry" request with "there's and apple in the fridge"
She lets the cupboard run out of chocolate, chips and all things junky, but never lets the fridge run out of fruit and veg.
She growls about homework, tidy bedrooms and toys scattered over the floor.
She forgets little things, but doesnt forget what she told the children to do yesterday  when they didnt do it.
She can make tea, talk on the phone, listen to reading and tidy the house all at the same time.
She takes a million photos even though the children hate them just so they dont forget each day.
She ALWAYS has one eye on the children, and one while they think they are getting away with it ....they arent!
She leaves scissors laying around, and pens and masses of paper....because children need to learn and explore their environment just as much as adults do.
She falls asleep on the lounge after a long day just so the baby will to.
She is always the last to eat, the first to clean and the only one that notices.....but thats ok.
A Perfect Mother has days when she wonders why? but wouldnt change a thing.
A Perfect Mother isnt always happy and smiling and full of life, some days she is cranky, emotional and down right foul.
But most of all a Perfect Mother is Perfect because she puts 100% into being a mother and wouldnt have it any other way.

So many of my friends doubt their mothering skills. They stress and worry that they are doing something wrong, or could be doing better. I believe that you can only do as good as you can at each given moment. Some days are easier than others, some days you want to give up more than others, but at the end of the day if you love your children, do everything you can for them and wouldnt give them up for the are a Perfect Mother.

I am woman, hear me ...whinge!

I am sorry, but I just have to......why oh why do we have to have a Uterus?

Yes I know they produce gorgeous children that give us grey hairs and wrinkles and the best darn days of our life that we can have....but there should be something somewhere that says after the birth of your last child they go "poof" and you never have to hear from them again....but no they don't do they? They come knocking once a month to drive us completely insane....only its not just once a month is it?

Mine knocks on the door with bad cramps for a week before its turn to come and visit....and don't get me started about my lack of patience or nasty wrath might rein down on you!!!! :)
Then when my personality starts to resemble a normal person again, the cramps come back and my Uterus says "I'm still here" and settles in for a 10 day visit.... and now I am no longer a super cranky cow.... now I am a emotional mess that wants to curl up on the lounge, watch soppy movies and cry for a week about how hard it is to be a woman and devour as many blocks of chocolate that I can remember to buy. (note this is today)

Then just when I start to think its buggered off and left me in peace I get a few more days of cramps and cranky moods....all the while my poor hubby doesn't know if he should hug me, run for cover or just hand me chocolate on a stick from at least the other room.

For some reason I know that I should love my Uterus...I should embrace its good old making baby qualities and the fact that its part of my body....but seriously I don't want to. Its like a relative I try and ignore so that I can pretend that they don't exist...(I have a few of those)  Now that I feel that I am done using it for its intended purpose I believe that it should pack its bags, book its flight and take itself else where for a much deserved holiday...and while its gone I am moving interstate, changing my name and getting plastic surgery so that it can NEVER find me again.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I am still here! (given up having uniform blog titles)

Phew its been a few days since I was here and I cant believe how busy I have been. In an earlier post I revealed that I was a little more than a bit lost in life and wondering where the next turn would be and how I would go about making it. Well apparently a little insomnia, a little girls birthday and a whole lot of crazy thoughts turned into something new and I have been working hard to get it up and running. I hope that it turns out to be a successful venture, not even in the monetary sense, even though that would be lovely too, but just in the "loved" sense of the word. I love what I am doing so I hope to share in that. So seeing as I have been working on the birth of a new venture I thought I might reflect on the birth of my children in this blog post.

I could go into the gory details of over due dates, inducing, nasty nurses, unsuccessful breast feeding, late nights and early mornings ....but I wont. I thought rather than telling you word for word about each birth of my children I would instead tell you about how I FEEL about the births and how I feel about how others react to my birth stories.

I have been very lucky to be blessed with 3 happy and healthy children, not without my losses, but that's another post altogether really.

When you have a child, or a few as in my case you find yourself at things like playgroup, mothers meetings, or just in general being drawn to people with children. I suppose its because with three very noisy children running around and climbing the walls no sane person without children would want to be in 100 meters of you. :)

While socialising with all these other mothers its very hard for the "birth story" conversation NOT to start up. Its like bragging rights isn't it... ...............I had a 10 pounder, I was in labour for 48 hrs, I gave birth in the back of the car...etc etc etc. ............

Well my stories aren't dramatic, no back seat of the car type stories anyway. I had three healthy babies via caesarian.

"Awww you poor thing" I hear some people say "You missed out on a real birth" others say " That must be so disappointing" ...and without the comments, the looks that some ladies give me without realising are even worse.

However I don't feel like a "poor thing"  I definitely didn't miss out on a real birth as I seem to remember bringing home three real babies and I have never once in the 8 1/2 years since my first caesarian, felt disappointed in any way.

When I was pregnant with my first child I chose not to have expectations about the birth of my child. I knew too many mothers that had gone in wanting it all to go one way and it went the other. I didn't want to be disappointed or upset by what had happened to me, so I chose to go into the situation with my eyes open and three very simple hopes.

1. I would get to hold my child.
2. My child would be as healthy as it could be.
3. I would be able to take my child home and start my family as soon as was possible.

I didn't tell myself I was going to give birth a certain way, or use or not use drugs. I was going to do everything in my power to ensure that my child had the best start to life that it could have and I was willing to do what ever I could to ensure this.

When the midwife told me that I was going in for an emergency Caesarean after two days of trying to get me into a good steady labour, and 7 hours of contractions that went no where, a huge part of me was relieved. I was so tired that I don't think I really cared what was going to happen next as long as I was going to be able to hold my baby that I was waiting for. I was a little scared, but then giving birth vaginally at the time seemed pretty darn scary too.

Now days I find myself reluctant to tell my birth story to people, as I find that more often than not I get a reaction I don't want. Which I of course know is never a reason not to tell something, but sometimes its just easier. I don't feel like I missed out on anything, for me giving birth is about having a baby, I had three. Giving birth is about the start of being a parent, I parent three. Giving birth is about the first step on the road of life as a family, and I am on that road.

I have never looked back and regretted what happened in my first birth, nor have I regretted the decisions with my second and third children to have subsequent caesarians. I did what was best for my children and what was best for my hubby and I. If I could go back to the day that my son was born I would do it all exactly the same, actually thats a little lie, I probably would have skipped the 7 hrs of labour that resulted in nothing! :)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Stayin'. Strong and saying NO

(I apologise now for any spelling mistakes as I typed this on my iPad...and well we all know what autocorrect can dao...also its a bit of a rant post so my apologies again for that too.....just need to vent a little)

We all know the old saying "no means no!" it's drummed into us from day dot.....and yet it seems that it is sometimes lost on people.

I tell my kids constantly that when they are told no that's means no; so what ever they are doing or asking or saying, they must stop. Now my kids are far from perfect so they like to push the point with me all the time! However I have never heard them push it with another adult. If anyone else says no to them they "suck it up" and deal with it. No arguments and no questioning.

At the moment I am getting hassled by a five year old at my childrens school. She wants my daughter to go to her house for a "playdate" Now I don't do playdates. It's a personal choice from that protective mummy that I introduced you to the other day. Anyway the reason that I am bringing this up is that this little girl, this rather annoying, no manners kind of child will just not take no for an answer. It's getting to the point that I think I am going to have to be blatantly rude to her to get her to understand. The worst part of it all is that her mum is constantly in the vicinity when she is asking and I am saying no....and yet she doesn't say anything to her. She doesn't react at all, doesn't pull her up with her manners or remind her that five year olds don't get to TELL adults what they have to do. If it was my daughter behaving like that I would be appalled....she wouldn't be able to speak like that to another adult....heck she wouldn't be allowed to speak to me like that.

While I am completely aware that I just sound horrid and like I must be the ice queen of mothers, it's just driving me insane and I really just have to get it off my chest. So I am sure that theres going to be many more days of gritting teeth and saying no, maybe by the end of it all she might know that no means no.