Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Stayin' Home

As this is my first blog post here I thought I would tell you a little bit about me, which also just happens to be a post about the thing that made me get on here and create a new blog to share.

I am a Stay At Home Mum of 3. It hasnt always been this way, for the first 4 and a bit years of my eldest childs life I was a Working Mum. Putting in my 38hrs a week in my job and then the same again in housework, cooking, being a loving Mum and Partner and keeping life going on as normal as I could with the extra pressure working. While I absolutely LOVED being a working Mum, I can also now say that I absolutely LOVE being a SAHM.

When I returned to work after my second child was born it was with some excitement, and also some dread. My second baby was just a meer four months old, and the choice was taken out of my hands so I just had to go with it and make the best of the situation I was in. I took the full time work in my stride and worked very hard to ensure our home lives didnt revolve around my work, or my lack of time. There were lots of late night washing loads, dishes after kids were in bed and cooking in bulk on a Sunday afternoon to ensure that daycare meals were ready and on hand during the week.

The one thing that I did find tough, was the reactions I would get from other Mothers, or from friends who didnt have children yet! I was constantly surprised at how many other people would look down on me for going back to work while my children were so young. I often found myself being racked in guilt as to why I was working simply because other people around me were pushing the idea on me that I might be doing the wrong thing. It took a lot to block it out, and eventually I did, and after awhile most people I knew and met, got to know my children and I better and realised that what we were doing was what was best for us. I let go of the guilt, and I think (personally) I did a great job of getting everything done in the day without very many dramas at all. Now days I look back and there are some things that I wish I could have changed, or worked on more with my children, but I think whether you work or not there are always things you look back on and think you could have done that better.

Fast forward a few years and I now have 3 children, two at school and one little one at home. I dont work, I dont have to and I dont plan to for a while. You would think, well I would, that from previous experiences it would be all cruisy and I wouldnt have any stigma following me around. Sadly its the opposite. As my youngest gets older I have started to notice exactly how many people now look down on me for not working. For not bringing any of the bread home. I get comments about being a "Lady of Leisure", and aparently the whole world has so much more to do than me. It seems that whether these people work 5 hours or 50 hours their time is much more important than mine and if someone has to wait; it ofcourse must be me. I am not saying they dont have more to do than me, I know they do, however I cant always say they get more done than me. While I dont go to an office all day, I dont stop for a second in my day. Its busy busy busy from 5am til 10pm everyday and usually its nearly as busy between those hours too with my kids needing things day and night.

I find it sad that as a Mother, I mustnt be alone. There must be many more Mum's out there with the same problems, issues if they work or if they dont. For me it was and is a family decision if I work or not. When I have needed to I did, and now that I dont need to I choose not to. While I may not be slaving in a workplace everyday, I can guarantee that the washing is always done, the tea is always cooked, the kids always have something to do or play, the house is always clean and the beds....well I dont make beds but thats besides the point! While I may not "bring any bread" home, I do put it in the breadmaker and make it everyday.


  1. A gorgeous post! As a working mother (and one that has had a taste of at-home-mum-hood) I admire your honesty and can relate to every point made (I too have left the house with beds unmade and that so doesn't define me nor does it have me losing any sleep). Welcome to the personal blogging world ... so glad to be able to follow you on your journey! xxx

  2. I'm thrilled because we have so much in common. I'm a stay at home mama with 3 little kidlets. I have been out of the (paid) workforce for the past 6 years (my god! they've just raced by). I had 3 kids within a 16 month period (twins + 1!!!) and chose to stay home to raise them. I have full respect for working mums too, it's hard enough to stay on top of domesticity let alone adding work commitments to the mix.

    Looking forward to sharing your experiences via the blogging world. One great comfort that I have taken from blogging is the realization that I am not alone. MummyPower!!!! xxxx